Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

Understanding Stress Responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

Most of us are familiar with three common responses to fear: fight, flight, and freeze. These are our brain's natural, automatic reactions to perceived threats, designed to protect us. Evolutionarily, these responses allowed our ancestors to react quickly to danger and find safety.

However, for individuals who have experienced prolonged trauma or abuse—often referred to as complex trauma—the brain can remain in a constant state of perceived threat. This leaves many people “stuck” in one or more of these stress response modes, even when the danger is no longer present.

For example:

• Someone who frequently lashes out in anger at small provocations might be exhibiting a fight response.

• A person who throws themselves into work or avoids conflict altogether may be caught in flight mode.

• An individual who feels paralyzed by decisions or disengages from life might be stuck in a freeze response.

While these three responses are widely recognized, there is also a fourth response called fawning, a term introduced by Pete Walker, a survivor of complex PTSD and licensed therapist specializing in childhood trauma recovery.

Let’s explore all four responses to better understand how trauma shapes behavior, especially in the context of fawning.

The Four Stress Responses to Trauma

Fight

The fight response stems from the belief that power and control are essential for safety. People who lean toward this response may exhibit behaviors centered on self-preservation at any cost.

Signs of the fight response include:

• Frequent anger or irritability

• Aggressive or confrontational behavior

• A need to dominate or control others

• Perfectionism that imposes rigid standards on oneself or others

This response isn’t limited to one gender; while anger may often be outwardly expressed, some individuals—particularly women—may direct this anger inward, leading to self-criticism or shame.

Flight

Those who adopt the flight response often rely on productivity and hypervigilance to feel safe. They may believe that being “perfect” will shield them from rejection, criticism, or abandonment.

Signs of the flight response include:

• Chronic busyness or overworking

• Perfectionism and overachieving

• Difficulty relaxing or sitting still

• Excessive worrying, panic, or obsessive thoughts

This response can look like constant activity driven by anxiety, making it hard for individuals to feel calm or at ease.

Freeze

The freeze response is characterized by withdrawal and detachment, as a way to avoid perceived danger. This response can result in feelings of being “frozen” physically or mentally, and often includes dissociation.

Signs of the freeze response include:

• Spacing out or feeling disconnected from reality

• Avoiding social interactions or isolating from others

• Difficulty making decisions or taking action

• Feeling stuck or immobilized

People with this response may find comfort in solitude but often struggle with taking initiative or staying engaged with life.

Fawn

The fawn response, also known as appeasing or people-pleasing, involves prioritizing others’ needs to avoid conflict or danger. This survival strategy often develops in individuals who have experienced abuse or environments where expressing their own needs was met with punishment or neglect.

According to Walker, people with the fawn response may believe their value lies in meeting the expectations of others, often at the expense of their own needs, boundaries, or identity.

Common signs of fawning include:

• Constant people-pleasing or prioritizing others’ needs

• Struggling to express authentic thoughts, feelings, or opinions

• Saying “yes” to everything, even to personal detriment

• Avoiding conflict at all costs

• Low self-esteem and fear of rejection

• Feeling taken advantage of in relationships

Fawning often leads to codependent relationships or patterns of emotional exploitation. Individuals who fawn may suppress their own fight or flight instincts, either due to fear of consequences or as a learned strategy for survival in abusive environments.

The Impact of Fawning

Fawning can feel like a “safer” response in the moment, but it often silences an individual’s voice and leaves them vulnerable to exploitation or unhealthy relationships. Trauma survivors who fall into the fawn response may find themselves repeatedly drawn to relationships where their needs are overlooked or invalidated.

As mental health advocate Sam Dylan Finch explains:

“The more invested I was in an emotional connection, the less likely I was to express unhappiness, vocalize my boundaries, or criticize when something felt wrong. I worked hard to please, believing it would prove my worth. But in reality, I was only crushing my own spirit.”

This tendency to suppress one’s voice and needs for the sake of others can perpetuate cycles of self-abandonment and emotional exhaustion.

Healing and Moving Forward

The good news is that healing from trauma is possible. With the support of a trauma-informed therapist, you can learn to shift deeply ingrained stress responses and build healthier coping mechanisms.

Here’s how healing might look:

1. Develop a sense of safetyLearning to feel safe in your own body and surroundings is a gradual but essential process.

2. Practice setting boundariesA therapist can help you explore your values and teach you how to assert your needs in relationships.

3. Learn self-soothing techniquesGrounding exercises and mindfulness practices can help you manage feelings of dissociation or anxiety.

4. Challenge negative beliefsBy addressing core beliefs about self-worth and relationships, you can begin to reclaim your voice and take up space.

A Reminder

As you work through your healing journey, keep these affirmations in mind:

• You deserve to take up space.

• You are worthy, just as you are.

• Your needs, feelings, and boundaries matter.

No matter how stuck you may feel in a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response, know that healing is always possible. By seeking support and investing in your emotional well-being, you can create a life rooted in authenticity, balance, and self-compassion.

This version reframes the content, expands on some points, and ensures it’s free from plagiarism. Let me know if there’s anything else you’d like adjusted!